


No Excuses

by swamp_thing



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, Guilt, Infidelity, M/M, i have no idea why i made this it just popped into my head, just a short drabble scene, trapper is a massive cheat and hawkeye's uncomfortable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24383902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swamp_thing/pseuds/swamp_thing
Summary: Hawkeye and Trapper finally spend a night together, but the aftermath has Hawkeye feeling miserably guilty.
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Kudos: 22





	No Excuses

Excuses buzzed around Hawkeye’s head endlessly, refusing to shut the hell up. While none of them were entirely untrue, none of them made him feel any better about what they’d just done. He was surprised at how fast the guilt set in. Not even a moment to relax and enjoy the feeling of Trapper’s breathing as his head rested on his chest. It should have been wonderful, but as he felt a hand run through his hair, he could barely keep from squirming to himself. He had never been the pinnacle of dignity or honor, but he had promised himself he would never get involved with anyone who was married, and until about an hour ago he’d been able to keep it. It was an incredible hour, beautiful in its own way, but now he felt just as awful as he always figured he would if he ever faltered enough to allow himself to become a cheat-ee to a cheater.  
“Trap?” he whispered.

“Mm?” Trapper’s eyes were closed. He seemed completely content, and it only made Hawkeye want to pull away more.

“Can I go back to my cot now?” he asked.

“What’s your hurry?” said Trapper, looking down at him.

“Frank’s going to be back soon.”

“Like anyone besides Frank would believe we were serious about anything.” Trapper laughed. “They’ve heard the way we joke.”

“Come on,” Pierce tried not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Just let me get up.”

“What’s wrong?” 

Shit.

“Nothing, I just want to get up now.” He began trying to extricate himself from their tangle of limbs.

Trapper wasn’t buying it. “Hey, what’s going on?” he said, letting Hawkeye get to his feet. “You were having a great time just a minute ago.- At least it sounded like you were.”

“Look,” Hawkeye snapped, now partially re-dressed. “Do you remember that bombshell nurse that was here for a while?”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific. And what has that got to do with anything anyway?”

“I asked you for advice, because we were flirting hard enough to kill each other with cheesy pick-up lines, but I was certain she was married. She wasn’t, but-”

“Oh, I get it.” Trapper said dryly and slightly dismissively.

“You should get it.” said Hawkeye, “I know you do this all the time, but I can’t. I can't-”

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything, I just..." Hawkeye sighed. "I'm sorry."

Trapper didn’t look at him. “I wish you’d remembered all that before.”

"Don't you think I do too?" Hawk shot back. "Now I'm a bone fide homewrecker. It's like a terrible milestone. Like losing your virginity only ten times worse."

They were silent for a moment.

"What do I do?" Hawkeye asked weakly.

Trapper shrugged. "I guess you just try to forget."

"How do I do that?" said Hawkeye.

Trapper got off his cot and reached for the still, pouring the potent liquid into two (relatively) clean glasses.

"Same way we forget everything else." He answered. They both simultaneously decided that counted as a toast.


End file.
